Do you ever have the scary feeling that your adult children are drifting away from you? That you’re losing them? That you miss how you used to be together? If that’s you, you’re not alone. That was also me for a big chunk of the last decade and I was able to turn things around!

Letting go of the role of the all-knowing parent and learning how to create a new bond with my adult daughters, based on mutual love and respect, has been one of the most challenging things I have done in my entire life! Isn’t it surprising how little information there is out there on how to parent our adult children? As if we would give up our relationship with them when they leave the house! Some people might say this should come naturally, that it just takes intuition, but add a couple of stressor like doing it in a foreign country or after experiencing a loss to this important life transition, and it can crash you!

I absolutely believe this is one of the most overlooked issues when it comes to parenting. There is extensive literature about parenting babies, toddlers, young children and even teenagers, but what do we do when they grow up? I mean, from the time they leave our homes to go to college or pursue an independent life until the day we leave this world? Do we keep on treating them like babies until we either suffocate them, spoil them rotten, or they cut us off completely in an attempt to discover who they really are? Or do we just disappear from their lives? Leave it up to chance? How do we find the middle ground to transition from being full time parents to becoming our adult children’s life-long friends? After a decade of trial and error, I have been able to trace a map with the strategies, tips, and tricks that helped me go from all-knowing well intended and often mistaken mama- bear to becoming my daughters life-long friend.

Just to give you context, I have been obsessing over parenting ever since I became Sol & Francesca’s mom. In motherhood I found, for the first time in my life, a sense of purpose, like I finally mattered and completely belonged. I gave it my all, I prioritized it over anything else, I enjoyed it and found it incredibly fulfilling. In my professional life, I became a Family Therapist to help other parents and their children build healthy bonds and work through any limitations that could strain their relationship. I also embarked on a life-long journey of self discovery and always strived to improve myself, so I could be a better mom to my girls and a better guide to other families.

I had it all under control until my girls went to college! On top of no longer living under the same roof and the girls being super busy with their new exciting social life, there was no time to hang out and have our long conversations laying on my bed at the end of the day. They now often reached out to me asking for advice and, for the first time, I didn’t seem to have the right answer on the tip of my tongue. See, in this wonderfully multicultural society we live in my girls were being exposed to a variety of new cultures and ideas that were foreign to me. While they were being reshaped by this multilayered society, part of the younger version of Fran & Sol started to fade away. And an almost adult and more sophisticated version of them started to emerge taking me by surprise and making me anxious.

As I struggled to adjust to my new and improved daughters, I soon realized I didn’t have a road map for this part of my mama’s journey. I chose to be open minded and instead of rejecting their new ideas, I decided it was time for me to grow up too, to open my eyes to this new world and to become a better version of myself. And as time went by, I came up with a vision of what I wanted our future to look and feel like and started building a bridge to realize my new dream. Of course, for this to work I needed to get Fran and Sol all in and excited about co create this future with me. If I could figure this thing called mothering out when they were young, I would figure it out again, especially with their help!

If you’re finding yourself going through this weird and uncomfortable transition don’t worry, I’m here to coach you all through it. Follow along for more tips and tricks from an all-knowing mama who is now besties with her daughters!